6 Month Rumblings...

I'm the mom of a little 6 month old! Where has time gone? I'm so thankful to be able to watch my little man grow up, but it doesn't stop me from being sad as all his little "baby" traits are beginning to fade away and he's becoming more and more independent. Don't get me wrong, I never cease to be fascinated as he figures out something he couldn't do before or masters something he's being trying so hard to do - like roll over, sit up, pull himself to a sitting position, put his paci back into his mouth with no help, etc... - but it hurts my heart a little that it went so so fast. Everyone tells you that it does, but nothing can prepare you for how truly fast it really flies.

Before Liam came, even while he was still "baking", I really didn't have a true grasp of what truly being a mom meant. I knew my life was going to change, and I was more than ready for it to. Even though I've said for years that I felt my true calling (and my true desire) was to be a SAHM. It's not that I don't enjoy working... every once in awhile I miss being in the classroom (but it's every once in small while)... I just wanted to be a mommy and wife. Even when I played Barbies as a child, my Barbie and Ken (usually Kelly and Dylan from 90210, haha) got married and immediately had babies! (Single, twins, or triplets... I picked and chose because I had the option, haha)

What no one can really prepare you for is the solidarity of being a SAHM. I love it, I wouldn't change it for anything in the entire world, but I feel like I'm not 100% sure how to function in proper society anymore. There wasn't really anyone/anything that could prepare me for how my life would truly change emotionally and socially. I knew there would be a difference socially with us moving to the other side of the metroplex, and I was prepared for that... at least I thought I was.

My life these days revolves around getting the hang of keeping a clean house (which is easier said than done with a messy hubby, a 6 month old, and 3 dogs...), trying to menu plan, and celebrating small victories of our little Liam. When I do get the off chance to speak to another adult - if it's one of my friends, most of them aren't mommies - I really don't have anything to contribute anything to the conversation other than what book I might currently be reading, what I watched recently on TV (or the History channel because I am and always will be a total nerd like that), or Liam's most recent accomplishment: eating a new food, his growth stats, his new hair that's coming in, that he's about to be teething, sleeping habits, etc... etc...

It's a very frustrating, lonely feeling at times because I feel like I've lost touch with my friends that aren't mommies for the very reason I stated above, and I'm really not sure how to go about meeting new SAHMs. I'm really really not a social person until I get to know you, I'm self conscious and way too critical of every word that comes out of my mouth. I literally will freak out and chastise myself for something I said, worrying that I said something wrong and that somebody's upset with me. I really have no idea what trained me to be that type of person, but it's a battle I've fought my entire life. While I'm still friends with the old ones, it's just very difficult to maintain those relationships when the common grounds you shared aren't so common anymore. :(

I assume this is all a normal transition into mommyhood/SAHMommyhood... tell me if I'm wrong, lol!

That being said, I love the are we are living in. While we are still in a rental, we are blessed/cursed with living on a court that backs up to greenbelt. The curse is that people are constantly passing by and my dogs are always barking, lol! The blessing is that you don't feel like you're surrounded by people and I can literally step off my front lawn onto a jogging path that weaves through the neighborhood. I love it. Do I take advantage of it as much as I should? No. But I plan on spending more time outdoors once the weather stays a little warmed - 60 or above. I'm not a fan of bundling up just to walk!

We live literally 6-7 miles from Highland Village, which has 90% of all our shopping needs in a great area. No worries about being mugged in the Wal-Mart parking lot if I need to make a trip at 10 pm at night like at our old one! Haha! We're about 15 min from Downtown Grapevine, and about 20 from all the restaurants in Grapevine. Go another direction and we're 10-15 min from Lewisville and all it's shopping and about 20 from shopping at Stonebriar in Frisco. We literally can go anywhere we want to go in under 30 minutes - except our parents houses. Which honestly, we're pretty close to right in the middle of both of our families, which suits us perfectly. Maybe not them so much, but we're fine with it. :)

We're still looking for a house, but we aren't in any hurry. We want to make sure we're happy with what we're buying since we'll be there for awhile! More than likely, we will be spending Liam's first birthday in this house...which gives me a sense of calm, but at least I can finally breathe and not have to worry about picking up and moving in the next couple of months. We still are living out of boxes, and probably will continue to do so until we are able to find a permanent home - this house is much smaller than our old one! It will be nice to go through boxes though and sort what I need (like hosting supplies for dinners, etc...) into our garage and take things like Christmas stuff back over to our storage in Ft. Worth. I hate everything being so spread out, but I've learned to manage quite a bit!

Things might not always happen the way we'd like, but it's clear that God always has a plan.

BTW, I know I've been kinda lacking on updating this blog, but that's because I have a website 100% dedicated to Liam. Comment with your email if you'd like me to send you an invite to that website... :)