I haven't blogged in awhile because honestly, life has kept us completely ridiculously busy! I love this time of year, where it's not quite cold yet, but the air is beginning to cool. It has this amazing clean, crisp smell to it. I love al the pumpins and the orange and red leaves (where you can find them)... I love Halloween! My sister and I will sit and watch scary movies for weeks leading up to Halloween - it's a tradition! Football season is in full swing, and the decorations are sooo fun! Of course there's a lot of things I will be starting this Fall, that I've never done before... and that's really exciting too!!
November 2003! Our very first pic as a "couple"! 
Christmas Eve '03! 
SPI - Spring Break '04!
Pat Green concert in April '05! 
Winter formal for HIS! Decemeber '05
The "official" engagment picture! April '06!
First day of our honeymoon! June '06!
SPI - HONEYMOON! June '06!
Floatin' the Comal River - Labor Day Weekend '06!
NASCAR '07!!
SPI - Spring Break '08!
Our 2 year anniversary in Destin, FL! June '08!
Disney in June '08!
Michael's bday - August '08!
State Fair '08!!!
Merry Christmas! Dec '01! (that is seriously OLD!) 
At the shower my mom threw for us! April '06!
At the shower Michael's family threw for us! May '06!
At the church shower the month before our wedding! May '06!
My TCU graduation!!!! May '06!!
At our house for the rehearsal BBQ! June '06!!
Tiffany's 21st! April '07! 
Mom's day!!! May '07! 
At Michael's bday dinner at our house! August '08!
With my mom at Christmas being completely goofy! Dec '05!! 
Mom and I being goofy again, but in Christmas '07!! 
On my birthday! June '08!
On Michaels' bday! August '08!
At a ladies brunch at church! Sept '08!
My sister and I have kind of always had a weird relationship... we don't do everything together, we don't really have dates. From what I'm seeing though, I think all of that might finally be changing. Sad that it took our father leaving us to really help out that relationship, but nobody said that the bends in the road of life are supposed to really make sense. We talk more, fight less, and I think finally have a true understanding of who the other is... which might have been our problem all along! She is the only person I know who FINALLY convinced me that I need to read Harry Potter because God knows I've been fighting it, just because I got so annoyed hearing about it from everyone. I've never been one for trends... but luckily she understands that about me. Now we're starting the Twilight books... so I can only imagine the talks and the longs hours watching all the movies once I'm done with HP and we're both done with the Twilight series!! Jillian, I'll include you on this one too! ;) There are a million and a half pictures I could include, but here are just a few...
Tiff and I - Christmas '03!
My senior year in college! Fall '05! 
Easter weekend (also the weekend we officially got engaged!) at our house! April '06!!
Toilet paper brides! Eta Sig shower in May '06! 
At my lingerie shower in May '06!
Tiff's 21st birthday weekend! April '07!
Memorial Day weekend at the Brazos! May '07! 
With my crazy, beautiful sister at the Fair!
Almost the entire group for Papa's 80th! July '08!
Almost (but still not quite) all the grandkids with Nana and Papa for Matthews bday! Aug '08!
I'm going to give you fair warning - this blog is probably going to be long, because I have a lot to catch ya'll up on. I guess "bad" news is always best first so that you can end on a good note, so here goes. Bear with me.
My dad decided the night before Thanksgiving of last year (2007) that he didn't want to come home from work. He didn't want to spend Thanksgiving with his family, he just didn't want to have anything to do, I suppose, with us. I really don't know how else to put it. I got to spend the very first Thanksgiving both sides of my family (birth and inlaws) in one household for what is supposed to be a thankful celebration, in shock wondering if this was really happening to us, and if I could have somehow seen it coming, or prevented it. In the past 11 months, I've seen my dad twice - once around Christmas (which was really awkward) and once in February (which was a pure accident, and was also really, really awkward). He didn't call on my birthday, didn't return calls/texts on Father's Day... so needless to say - in a way, it's been the longest 11 months of my life. I realize that everything happens for a reason, but I won't lie when I say that I still am not to a point where I can see a silver lining, nor do I see why this had to happen to my family. My mom is seriously the most amazing person that I know, and I can't imagine why anyone would ever want to treat her the way that she's been treated. I can't imagine why someone won't acknowledge their own flesh and blood, and can turn their back on a family he created. I just don't understand. I'm basically spilling the beans now, because it's finally "official". My dad signed the papers on Sunday, and my mom filed them today. It's over. I never saw myself in this place, and honestly, it really makes the whole "live each day to its fullest" saying to a whole, new level. I'm not past the angry part, for lots of reasons. A big part of that being that I've had to question everything I've ever believed about my parents marriage, I've had to question what my dad was really thinking when I was planning my wedding (those of you really close to me know why I say that), I had to cry through my wedding video on my 2 year anniversary because it was so painful to watch my dad give me away, and our father/daughter dance, that he ever made me feel like I wasn't good enough - even when I finally graduated Magna Cumme Laude from TCU. I feel betrayed by someone I trusted completely, and never had any reason to doubt. Mostly, I'm angry because I've had to somewhat put my life on hold just to deal with all of this emotion. I've had to put my future family on hold, because it was just too much to deal with. I say all of this to say, please don't ever take anyone for granted. Please don't think that they will always be there, that things will always be as they are right now, that all those plans you have in your head will actually come to fruition, so just put that thing off for just one more day...
My dad decided the night before Thanksgiving of last year (2007) that he didn't want to come home from work. He didn't want to spend Thanksgiving with his family, he just didn't want to have anything to do, I suppose, with us. I really don't know how else to put it. I got to spend the very first Thanksgiving both sides of my family (birth and inlaws) in one household for what is supposed to be a thankful celebration, in shock wondering if this was really happening to us, and if I could have somehow seen it coming, or prevented it. In the past 11 months, I've seen my dad twice - once around Christmas (which was really awkward) and once in February (which was a pure accident, and was also really, really awkward). He didn't call on my birthday, didn't return calls/texts on Father's Day... so needless to say - in a way, it's been the longest 11 months of my life. I realize that everything happens for a reason, but I won't lie when I say that I still am not to a point where I can see a silver lining, nor do I see why this had to happen to my family. My mom is seriously the most amazing person that I know, and I can't imagine why anyone would ever want to treat her the way that she's been treated. I can't imagine why someone won't acknowledge their own flesh and blood, and can turn their back on a family he created. I just don't understand. I'm basically spilling the beans now, because it's finally "official". My dad signed the papers on Sunday, and my mom filed them today. It's over. I never saw myself in this place, and honestly, it really makes the whole "live each day to its fullest" saying to a whole, new level. I'm not past the angry part, for lots of reasons. A big part of that being that I've had to question everything I've ever believed about my parents marriage, I've had to question what my dad was really thinking when I was planning my wedding (those of you really close to me know why I say that), I had to cry through my wedding video on my 2 year anniversary because it was so painful to watch my dad give me away, and our father/daughter dance, that he ever made me feel like I wasn't good enough - even when I finally graduated Magna Cumme Laude from TCU. I feel betrayed by someone I trusted completely, and never had any reason to doubt. Mostly, I'm angry because I've had to somewhat put my life on hold just to deal with all of this emotion. I've had to put my future family on hold, because it was just too much to deal with. I say all of this to say, please don't ever take anyone for granted. Please don't think that they will always be there, that things will always be as they are right now, that all those plans you have in your head will actually come to fruition, so just put that thing off for just one more day...
The silver lining I've been able to come up with is this: my family is now closer than it's even been in my entire life. I don't just mean the "me, Tiffany, mom" family... I mean the Ward family, my grandparents, and the Turner family - my aunt and uncle. We always did what my dad wanted to do, which is something I never acknowledged or chose to see until recently. I'm seeing things through a whole new light these days, and am trying really hard to not get so caught up in the stupid, little things that really don't matter. It's definitely hard not to do, because it's simply a little trap that life sets out for you. But, I'm really trying. We've already started new traditions, and hopefully we will be able to continue to build on them! I have a lot of things that I'm really looking forward to, which is so hard to say considering deep down I'm actually dreading the upcoming holidays. I survived my first round without my father, but I think that somewhere deep down I was like the little girl in Hope Floats desperately crying for her father to change his mind. Nothing better describes that feeling you have when you realize someone has walked out on you: they are making that choice. It is so heartwrencingly painful... I wouldn't wish it anyone. We just have to make these holidays a million times better than they every were, and start anew. We have gotten the chance for new beginnings, and make things right with other people we didn't even realize were being wronged. So I suppose in that instance, it could be considered a blessing in disguise. Only time will tell.
I definitely have learned to appreciate my mom, my sister, my grandparents, true friends, and my absolutely, amazingly wonderful husband. I'm going to put all my attention on him for a minute, because I don't think he truly understands how grateful I am for who he is. Michael has also had to deal with more than his share over the past 11 months, and he has done so in such a wonderful way... I'm not sure I can really express how in love with him I am... but I will sure try. Michael really might be the most selfless person I know (other than my mom - haha!). Of course, no relationship is perfect and he agitates me at times, as I'm sure that I do with him... but when I really need him, he knows it and he's there without me ever having to say a word. Michael put his wants of starting a family together aside, and told me we should hold off until I was emotionally ready - because he didn't want to put more on me than I could handle. It takes a truly amazing man to say that, because up until the point I found out my dad was leaving, we were ready to start that next step in our lives. Of course, God always knows better... but luckily He gave me Michael to live this crazy, beautiful life with. He doesn't push when I drown myself in work to push away this other mess, and he has stepped in and taken care of my family in ways that I would never have expected him to. But that's just it, he knows I don't expect it... but he does it anyway. I'm sure I've made him do a million things he'd rather not, watch things he doesn't want to, and probably have been a bigger baby than I would like to admit - but he's been there every step of the way... My only regret is that I don't tell him more how completely and utterly grateful I am for him. I know every married woman says that she's married to the most amazing man in the world, but I really do think I got the best one out of all of them! ;) We've been through so much together in the 8 years we've known each other, the 5 years we've been together (that anniversary is coming up soon!), and the 2 years we've been married. It's been an incredible ride, and I can't imagine the years to come without him by my side. So Michael, thank you for who you are and what you do... my life wouldn't be the same without you in it and there is no way in the world I could ever tell you how much you mean to me, and what you've really done for me. I love you!
November 2003! Our very first pic as a "couple"! Christmas Eve '03! Our very first Valentine's Day together! Feb '04!!
SPI - Spring Break '04! Pat Green concert in April '05! Winter formal for HIS! Decemeber '05The "official" engagment picture! April '06! One of our engagement pictures - Las Colinas Canals - May '06!
Our Wedding!! June '06!
First day of our honeymoon! June '06! SPI - HONEYMOON! June '06!Floatin' the Comal River - Labor Day Weekend '06!NASCAR '07!!SPI - Spring Break '08!Our 2 year anniversary in Destin, FL! June '08! Disney in June '08!Michael's bday - August '08!State Fair '08!!!As for my mom and my sister, we've been through some truly horrendous times over the past few months and we've each dealt with it in our own ways.
Merry Christmas! Dec '01! (that is seriously OLD!) At the shower my mom threw for us! April '06!At the shower Michael's family threw for us! May '06!At the church shower the month before our wedding! May '06!My TCU graduation!!!! May '06!!At our house for the rehearsal BBQ! June '06!! Tiffany's 21st! April '07! Mom's day!!! May '07! Christmas '07!
At Chuy's for my 26th bday! June '08!
At Michael's bday dinner at our house! August '08!The fam at P.F. Changs for Mom's birthday! Aug '08!
I've always been soooo thankful for my mom, because seriously she is the coolest mom on the planet - but also because she is my best friend. I'm really not sure that there's anything I couldn't talk to her about. She never deserved this, but I think that in the end she will be better for it. We all will. Even through all of this, when my mom should have been allowing herself to deal accordingly, she put us first. She's protected us, even when I've asked her to just shoot me straight, and all the awhile she's been there making sure that we are OK... when she should have been doing the same for herself! My mom is truly amazing... in sooo many ways. I am so grateful every single day that God gave me her as my mom... I love that I can call her and talk to her about whatever, she'll listen to me vent and give me the Pollyanna outlook (because that's her style!), she's never afraid to be goofy, and she loves everything, everyone, and life wholeheartedly. More people should learn how to live life just by watching her. :)
With my mom at Christmas being completely goofy! Dec '05!! Mom and I being goofy again, but in Christmas '07!! On my birthday! June '08!On Michaels' bday! August '08!At a ladies brunch at church! Sept '08!My sister and I have kind of always had a weird relationship... we don't do everything together, we don't really have dates. From what I'm seeing though, I think all of that might finally be changing. Sad that it took our father leaving us to really help out that relationship, but nobody said that the bends in the road of life are supposed to really make sense. We talk more, fight less, and I think finally have a true understanding of who the other is... which might have been our problem all along! She is the only person I know who FINALLY convinced me that I need to read Harry Potter because God knows I've been fighting it, just because I got so annoyed hearing about it from everyone. I've never been one for trends... but luckily she understands that about me. Now we're starting the Twilight books... so I can only imagine the talks and the longs hours watching all the movies once I'm done with HP and we're both done with the Twilight series!! Jillian, I'll include you on this one too! ;) There are a million and a half pictures I could include, but here are just a few...
My senior year in college! Fall '05! Easter weekend (also the weekend we officially got engaged!) at our house! April '06!!Toilet paper brides! Eta Sig shower in May '06! At my lingerie shower in May '06!Tiff's 21st birthday weekend! April '07!Memorial Day weekend at the Brazos! May '07! With my crazy, beautiful sister at the Fair! I'm really looking forward to seeing where our family is going to continue to go, and how we're going to continue to grow. I've already seen a lot of changes, and I'm finally seeing what I've missed out on for so long. Better late than never! Of course I can't write this without giving kudos to friends, but one friend in particular won't hesitate to drop what she's doing and drive our way for whatever it is I feel like I need when I'm having a bad "dad" day. They've become fewer and further between, but I totally love her for being willing to just be there when I'm not even sure what to say. Thank you, and I love you for it!! :) (I'd add more pics, but I think I went overboard as it is! I just love all ya'll SO MUCH!!!!) See, I told you this would end on a good note: Thank God for amazing family and friends that easily could be!! :) And here's the REALLY awesome part, we've done something as a family ALMOST every month since this summer!! 
At my grandparents on my bday! June '08! Almost the entire group for Papa's 80th! July '08!Almost (but still not quite) all the grandkids with Nana and Papa for Matthews bday! Aug '08! My amazing family at the 2008 State Fair!
Wonderful, amazing things I'm looking forward to!
- Going to the pumpkin patch next weekend for the first time EVER!
Wonderful, amazing things I'm looking forward to!
- Going to the pumpkin patch next weekend for the first time EVER!
- Going to Boo At The Zoo - for the first time ever!
- Going to Fright Fest - for the first time ever!
- Thanksgiving with the family without the awkwardness - and making some really awesome memories!
- Getting closer to my aunt, uncle, and cousins!
- Making new memories with some really amazing people!
- NASCAR weekend!
- Starting some new Christmas traditions!
- NASCAR weekend!
- Starting some new Christmas traditions!
- Taking more pictures with the family! (my dad never was one for this!)
And who knows WHAT else!!!!!
I'm really excited to be making all these new memories and traditions with the people I love. It's a truly awesome thing! Thanks for listening, and keep our family in your prayers.
Love ya'll!
I'm really excited to be making all these new memories and traditions with the people I love. It's a truly awesome thing! Thanks for listening, and keep our family in your prayers.
Love ya'll!
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